The Beacon

Caregiving and Your Siblings

Article Date: April – The Beacon Online

by Starr Calo–oy

There are going to be times you and your siblings will disagree with the way you are caring for your relative. Believe me, you may feel unappreciated, underpaid and overworked! Why? They think different than you do! People handle emotional pain and disappointment in different ways. A few of the factors that will cause people to think differently are:

• ♦   Growing up and living in contrasting homes
• ♦   Health issues
• ♦   Income brackets
• ♦   Unique lifestyles
• ♦   Job/career changes
• ♦   Family additions
• ♦   Growth in diverse areas
• ♦   Losses and gains in distinct areas

If you want to be less disappointed, watch your expectations. Read and apply Galatians 5:22–26 “but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self–control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to christ jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the spirit, let us keep in step with the spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”

Hold a family meeting and ask your family to sign up for chores:

The Volunteer List

Cooking – this person agrees to cook for your entire family so you can tend to your loved ones personal needs. They can bring the prepared food over weekly or bi–weekly. This would be their only responsibility.

Cleaning – this person comes over a minimum of 3 times a week to do a thorough cleaning of the house and take out the trash. This would be their only responsibility

Laundry – this person comes over to do laundry 4 times a week– to wash, fold, put & hang up all laundry. This would be their only responsibility.

Appointments & transportation – this person would handle all appointments and transportation for your lo. He would write all of them on your calendar to keep you up to speed. He would also get him ready for these appointments.

Yard work – this person would keep your yard looking greatmowing and edging once a week.

Above all, realize that you have the great opportunity and privilege of being a good example of Jesus to them by the way you handle their criticism and judgment. Pray for them. Embrace them with His arms and see them through His eyes! Make your heavenly father proud.

Starr & Bob Calo–oy cared for the terminally ill and people with different forms of dementia in their own home for 25 years and are the authors of 4 caregiving books. Starr hosts Caregiving 101 and Marriage 101 on Great Day Sunday on KENS–TV 5 every Sunday morning and both of the Calo–oy’s host 2, one–hour radio talk shows on KKYX–680am every Saturday morning; Caregiving 101 & Marriage 101. Starr & Bob are retired preachers make numerous appearances on television all over America and are the proud parents of 10 children. They are currently working on 3 books, give free marriage classes in their home and provide free caregiving coaching and marriage counseling. You can reach them from their websites at www. caregiversadvice.net, www.marriage101.net or call 210.521.8668.

Starr writes monthly for “The Beacon” – a San Antonio Christian Newspaper. The Beacon online at: The Beacon.